I haven’t read 13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher, but I have heard a lot about it through the BookTube and Book Blogging community, which is why when Netflix announced they were making a TV show adaptation – I got excited.
Mental Health, including depression and suicide, just aren’t talked about enough.
Yes, there is more awareness now than there was even just a few years ago, but it’s still a taboo subject that is often stigmatised and misunderstood, as well as being uncomfortable for sufferers (as well as others) to openly talk about.
Before I get in to the problems I had with this show – a little background on me:
I’ve had depression twice – once when I was around 13-14, and once when I was 21 (I’m now 27). At this very moment it is estimated that 1 in 4 adults are suffering with some form of mental health problem, and I am aware that at some point in my future, life will throw me a curve ball (because that’s what life does), and I may have mental health issues I’ll need to address.
I didn’t recognise that I had depression when I was a teenager. It was only when it reared it’s ugly head again in my early 20’s, that I recalled feeling that way once before. As a teen, I was never diagnosed or treated. In my 20’s, I went through a (thankfully) short period of depression, which ultimately led me to my GPs office and a 20 week Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) treatment.
It’s in no way an exaggeration to say that CBT changed my life then, and continues to have an impact on how I live my life now. I encourage ANYONE who is dealing with any form of mental health issue to reach out and
ask fordemand help.
I’ve also had anxiety since I was 17. My mother suffered a double brain aneurysm and haemorrhage, and to say that my life, and the lives of my entire family, was flipped upside down would be an understatement. I took my first anxiety attack in the Intensive Care Unit when I was visiting her, and it hasn’t left me since. I was prone to regular anxiety attacks, for no apparent reason, and was taken to both A&E and my GP on multiple occasions due to passing out. I was never actually diagnosed with anything.
The CBT treatment I received for depression actually ended up helping my anxiety too. Although I still have symptoms that I’ve learned to manage, I haven’t had an actual attack since I was about 22. I don’t know if it’s ever possible to rid yourself of anxiety completely once that seal has been broken, for lack of better terminology. Anxiety can bubble very quietly under the surface – even writing this post is causing mild symptoms, because this isn’t something I generally put out there for the whole world to read.
It’s probably important to say that if you met me, you’d likely never guess I’d ever had depression or anxiety. I’m an extrovert (80% of the time), I come across as confident, sarcastic, and talkative. I have a big personality, I like to be in control, and other quieter individuals can find me a little intimidating (I’ve done enough Personality Profiles and 360 Feedback Reports to know that these statements are based on actual opinions of others, I’m not just making them up!). I’m also ambitious, driven, and goal-orientated, and no, I’m not intending for this to read like a CV, what I am saying is that society doesn’t usually expect “someone like me” to have depression or anxiety. Well, guess what? We do. And there are A LOT of us.
Mental Health problems do not discriminate.
They occur in individuals from all socio-economic groups, all ethnic backgrounds, all ages, all genders, all sexual orientations. They affect “strong” people and “weak” people. They impact on introverts and extroverts. No one is above being affected by poor Mental Health, which is why we should all really learn to be much more open to discussion and understanding of Mental Health topics, as well as equipping all individuals with appropriate education on the signs, symptoms, and coping mechanisms.
Now that I’ve gotten all of that off my chest, let’s move on to the 13 problems I had with a TV show I was highly anticipating, and had such great hopes for, but which ultimately was very disappointing.
1. Suicide is used for revenge.
The message in 13 Reasons Why is clear – Hannah Baker takes her own life, and leaves behind 13 cassette tapes, for 13 different individuals, detailing how they contributed to her death. The “welcome to your tape” intro became synonymous with the show, and as a viewer this whole set-up felt not only wrong, but wholly unrealistic and over-dramatised for the sake of the show.
2. Suicide is meticulously planned.
Hannah leaves behind these (decorated) tapes, with instructions as to what order they should be listened to and passed on, and a back-up plan for public release should any one of the 13 individuals not comply. The tapes are coherent, sarcastic (some would go so far as to say witty), and glib in their content. They do not depict the thoughts and feelings of someone in a very dark mental head-space who is contemplating suicide. They are elaborately well thought out.
3. Suicide is over-simplified.
Hannah faces a number of difficult challenges, but I don’t think we are ever given an insight into the time-frame of their occurrence. It certainly appears as though they happen in reasonably quick succession, and Hannah moves from regular teenager to suicidal quite rapidly, with absolutely no discussion of any other mental health issues, or struggles with depression, that would come before suicidal thoughts. Suicide does not happen in isolation.
3. No positive interventions.
Netflix has a massive audience, and a TV show like 13 Reasons Why provides the perfect platform to bring discussion about mental health and suicide into the mainstream IN A POSITIVE WAY. Hannah had a good relationship with her parents, she had a friend in Clay, and she clearly trusted and spoke with the all-knowing and very odd character of Tony, but the show didn’t think to include reaching out for help as an alternative option to taking your own life?!
4. Poor representation.
By this I mean the representation of the school Counsellor, who Hannah eventually speaks to. He had a complete shit-show of a response that actually incensed me. I’m sure plenty of people have had poor responses when they’ve finally shared how they’re feeling with someone, but to depict a trained individual in the poorest light, will only compound the wrong message to young people – that there’s no point opening up because no one will believe you/help you. This incites fear, and is NOT the message to promote.
5. Suicide as a method of attention-seeking.
There are multiple times throughout the show, where the depiction of Hannah’s character actually does nothing to help de-stigmatise mental health, depression, and suicide. Not only are many of the initial reasons Hannah blames someone for contributing to her suicide tenuous at best, but when she does go to see the school Counsellor to discuss a significant sexual assault, she leaves his office and stands outside watching his door to see if he will follow after her, while audio-recording her response.
6. Simultaneously too realistic, and not realistic at all.
While the show made a very poor effort to realistically portray mental health problems and depression, it more than made up for it in its depiction of an actual suicide. There were a couple of scenes that (as an adult) I really struggled with, namely two rape scenes and the suicide scene. I am amazed that this show is aimed toward a much younger audience – I would not be OK with anyone under the age of 18 watching this content.
Multiple suicide prevention organisations and psychology experts have spoken out about the suicide scene in the show, calling it harmful and unnecessarily graphic, following none of the guidelines for how to depict suicide in a “safe” way in the media, and some have gone as far as calling it a “how-to guide”.
If that weren’t enough, in the book Hannah takes an overdose of tablets, but in the TV show this was changed to show her cutting herself in the bath in up-close and gory detail. The camera never cuts away when you would expect it to. Why would the TV show need to change the ending of the book? Because it makes for more dramatic (and stomach churning) visual representation. It wasn’t a responsible decision, and it didn’t add to the conversation.
7. Self-harm is depicted as an alternative to suicide.
One of the characters in the show self-harms, and actually says that she does it as an alternative to committing suicide. This is not accurate, and it’s not OK for the show to essentially promote.
8. Suicide and the Blame-Game.
Let’s get one thing clear – Hannah Baker took Hannah Baker’s life. Ultimately, no one is responsible for the actions of another human being – certainly not a best friend who falls out with you over teen drama, not a guy who puts you number one on the list of the best bums in the class, not someone who publishes your poetry without consent, and not even the asshole who takes a picture up your skirt and shares it on social media. If there is one person in the show who could be considered “responsible” for Hannah’s mental health decline, it’s Bryce who committed a disgusting sexual assault on Hannah. However, that still isn’t a direct A = B as to why Hannah took her own life.
9. Teen Drama.
Linked to the above. For the majority of the show I couldn’t see past the melodrama. Hannah made a revenge tape for the guy who put her number one on the best butt in the class list because it was one of the reasons she killed herself?! What message is this sending to young people!?
Granted, the things that affect you and the impact they can have on your mental health as a teenager, are often different to the the things that affect you as an adult. As a teenager I may have empathised with Hannah more, but as an adult watching the show, who struggled with bullying A LOT in her teenage years, I did not think this kind of representation was OK.
The vast majority of us get through the awful challenges of being a teenager, we learn resilience, and we grow to understand what is important and what’s not in the context of the opinions of our peers. This show offers absolutely no coping mechanisms or methods of dealing with bullying constructively.
10. Tony.
The ever-present, all knowing, slightly fantastical, and too-old-looking-for-High-School, Tony. I spent a large part of the show thinking there was an element of magical realism, that Tony was an angel, or an “other” meant to serve up an overall moral to the story. If anything, Tony highlighted the utter dysfunctional and unrealistic elements to this show in one compact character.
11. Clay.
A sweet, if somewhat naive, character who was secretly “in love” with Hannah Baker, and is a focus for one of her tapes. The big reveal? He wasn’t actually one of the contributors to Hannah’s demise, he’s used to create suspense, and the poor guy is driven to distraction by having to listen to the majority of Hannah’s tapes before finding out that she thought he was actually a pretty great guy, who didn’t contribute to her suicide. Why the hell would she put someone through that?!
12. Flashbacks.
Hannah’s voice, the flashbacks to previous events, and at times her ghostly presence throughout the show, give the slightly strange impression that she’s somehow still here even though she’s gone. She’s kind of bearing witness to the impact her death has had on those she has blamed for her death, as if she is somehow able to see how her revenge ploy plays out. The show didn’t do a very good job of depicting that once you die, you are gone. Forever.
13. Loose ends and Season Two.
To me, this show should have been a stand-alone. One series to make an impact, to portray the significant meaning of the novel on-screen, to engage with young people and open the door for discussion. To depict mental health and suicide responsibly, and realistically. Instead, the series ended with multiple loose ends, and plot points were changed, which left me with a feeling of dread – they were setting up for a second season.
Ta da! A second season has been announced, and I couldn’t be more disappointed. At the end of season one, a second character makes a suicide attempt (which never happened in the book), and the scene is set for what looks to be a school shooting plot in season two. Not only is this diluting the point and purpose of Hannah Baker’s story, it’s taking every possible serious and significant scenario that has the potential to affect teenage lives, and turning it into melodramatic, polished, and hyperbolic drama for the sake of popularity and ratings, and I’m not OK with that.
Yes, everyone reacts to bullying differently, and yes, sometimes it doesn’t take a lot to push someone over the edge, and yes, hopefully this show will make teens think twice before they treat each other like shit. But no, this show is not for everyone, and no, this show does not add positively or constructively to the discourse around mental health and suicide, and no, I won’t be watching season two.
Have you watched 13 Reasons Why? Have you read the book? What are your thoughts? Talk to me in the comments.
In the interests of balanced discussion, I recommend you check out Jenny in Neverland’s post – Why 13 Reasons is Important, as well as checking out the following two videos:
Confessions of a Book Geek 
I totally respect your opinions of the show because it did a whole lot wrong. I agree that it was far too graphic with the suicide, it was uncomfortable and maybe it was meant to be uncomfortable but I’m pretty sure Hannah’s parents discovering her body was uncomfortable enough. I was annoyed that changed and it should have cut away as soon as she was in the bathtub. I didn’t need to see it. I also hated that there wasn’t more mention of mental health at all in the entire show. It was never mentioned that Hannah had any mental health troubles or anything and I think that is unrealistic as suicide is not a snap decision. I didn’t like the way bullying was shown either, it didn’t seem to be stopped at all. And the tapes were just cruel. I appreciated they had a greater impact on those who heard them than in the books, though. That was realistic.
I don’t know if I agree with a second season but I will still end up watching as I did get sucked in. I know the flaws of the show and the book but I do think that message is about actions and caring for others. That is probably naive of me. It’s a very simplistic take on things but it’s what I took away which isn;t a bad thing.
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Hi Becky!
The suicide scene definitely seems to be one of the main issues with the show (as well as that rape scene, that was tough). I don’t know how you can skip mental health problems and warning signs and just go straight to suicide. It doesn’t make sense?
I definitely took a few things away from the show too, in the sense that you don’t know what’s going on in someone’s head, and you don’t know how sensitive individuals are – as in what one person sees as a joke may negatively affect someone else’s life, and that we all really should be nicer to each other, because why spend energy being a douche?! But I think that message could have been portrayed without all of the problems this show had.
When is season 2 due out? R xx
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Yeah, the jump to suicide was frustrating because I think the tapes were meant to show a build up to it but it didn’t feel accurate. I get the rape was the final trigger for her but there was no mention of suicide to that point which made it seem so sudden.
Yeah, I was glad there were positives to take but they did get overshadowed. Hopefully, lessons will be learnt when it comes to the second season. I don’t think there’s a definite date for it but I’ve heard 2018.
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*SPOILER*
It’s how she took the blades from her parents store, while they were clearly still trying to connect with their daughter, and she did it in such a… unemotional way? Ugh. Problems. R xx
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I absolutely agree, Rachel. I’ve not watched nor plan to watch the show or read the book, but I could tell from the trailer and multiple videos/reviews on it that it was not for me. The fact that this show is marketed for people under 18 years old, for instance, blows my mind. I know it revolves around teens, but that doesn’t mean it is FOR teens.
The graphic suicide scene, I have no idea why they changed it for the show. It makes no sense to me. The pills would have been shocking enough for anyone watching, and the message would have been sent anyway. There’s no need to make it gorey.
The revenge suicide, I don’t think that’s even a thing. I’ve never heard of anyone who’d done it, or thought it was remotely reasonable. No one is going to suffer more with your death than yourself. Why would Hannah assume that? The best revenge to take on anyone who’s wronged you is to live your best life and SHOW them you’re doing great. Taking your own life will do none of that. Anyone who thinks that way is either a psychopath or delusional. People might feel guilty, yes, but ultimately they’ll move on with their lives and forget about it eventually. Meanwhile, you are the one who won’t be there.
The counselor scene is extremely harmful. Why would anyone include that in a show about suicide is insane. Suicidal teens need to know this is the exception to the rule, because most health care providers WILL help you if you go to them. It sends a very wrong message to impressionable minds who might have started watching the show in hopes of finding relatability and will leave feeling even more in despair than before. That is NOT okay.
The ghost thing, I get it, it’s very Hollywood. There has to be that “paranormal” element to it. But I don’t think it’s the way to go, either. Also, I’m astounded poor Clay has to go through all of that only to find out it never was about him… Hannah was not a good person, and I hope that comes across in the show.
Amazing post and I’m sorry about the long rant! I’m glad I read this because I had no idea how problematic the show actually was. Will stay clear away of it.
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Hi Sophie, thanks for commenting!
I know teens are much more aware than adults give them credit for, and as we get older, we sometimes forget just what teens are exposed to and know, but as an adult watching the show I felt at times it was a bit much, and I found it framed in a negative and not positive manner, I didn’t feel it added to the conversation positively, or helped in opening discussions, as I was too preoccupied with Hannah’s melodrama and all the other odd goings on.
The suicide scene, to me, didn’t need to be changed or be as graphic as it was, for it to be effective. It felt gratuitous, and the fact that so many organisations who are expert in this arena have spoken out against it says a lot. The set-up/lead-up to the scene also didn’t make a whole lot of sense. It was very premeditated, and other than cutting her hair and being a little moody (not definite depression signs in my mind), it didn’t feel authentic to what those who have survived suicidal thoughts have described as their experience.
I 100% agree that overall I felt this show sends all the wrong messages – to impressionable teens, and adults, and anyone else watching it. A lot of it came across as “how not to depict mental health and suicide”. I doubt the producers/etc., reached out to any organisations for input or guidance, which I’m sure many would have happily provided had they asked. Selena Gomez has somehow managed to avoid a lot of the backlash from it, even though she was supposedly quite involved. The fact it has been given a season 2 is mind boggling. I know it broke trending records on Twitter and whatnot, but I think that was based on excitement and expectation when it was first released, since then there hasn’t been much positivity about the show.
No need to apologise for a long comment at all, I LOVE the engagement, and very pleased you enjoyed my post 🙂
R xx
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Yeah I don’t think they sought out as much advice on the making of the show as they should have. Much like when authors seek out sensitivity readers, the production crew should have reached out to those organizations (or even teens who’d gone through the same thing) in order to create authentic but respectful content.
I agree. There was a lot of hype surrounding it but not always the good kind. Everyone pretty much either wanted to watch it because they’d love the book or because they were curious, since it had been so heavily marketed.
Great to have had this chat with you! 🙂
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I was going to watch the documentary to see what they DID actually try to do in terms of research, but after 13 hours of a shitshow I couldn’t take anymore. That was another problem. 13 tapes, 13 episodes, I get it, but a lot of it felt like filler that could have been used much more smartly. Thanks for engaging, Sophie, loved your comments! R xx
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[…] I also did the Mid Year Book Freakout Tag, and although I technically wrote this in August, I’m going to include it here as this wrap-up ran late – I shared my personal experience with depression and anxiety, as well as my views on the TV show, 13 Reasons Why, in my post 13 Problems With 13 Reasons Why. […]
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I feel like you’re right in that it should have been a standalone show with one series. I hate that nobody talks about Hannah being depressed, including her, but at that age I was depressed and had no idea why I felt so bad. I just thought it was normal.
The suicide was definitely too well-planned imo. I know that people usually have a general plan, but I guess the tapes gave a sense of purpose to her life and then she decided there was nothing left? Idk.
Great post though, and good job on opening up on your own mental health history. It’s definitely not easy!
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I feel like even if they didn’t get her to say “depressed” (because you’re totally right, at that age I didn’t identify what it was either), they should have at least shown a proper mental health decline. The most significant thing she did was cut her hair. It’s like they used it to show her negative mental health before her suicide, and that just doesn’t wash.
Thanks, Jessica! R xx
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I haven’t read this book nor seen the Netflix show and all the criticism it’s received makes me not want to. It’s a darn shame that when mental health actually gets some kind of attention, it’s sensationalized. Instead of actually talking honestly about mental health, it feels like this show just uses it as a plot device/shock value. I really appreciate how honest you are in this post, Rachel.
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My thoughts exactly, it was such a wasted opportunity. I don’t know that I would discourage you from watching it, only for you to form your own opinions. It strikes me as something you might like to do. But who has 13 hours to spare to watch something problematic? I went into it fully expecting and wanting an engaging and thoughtful show. Sadly not. Thanks, Alicia. It took a bit of bravery to push that Publish button! R xx
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I agree with all of your points. When I watched the show because of my school district disseminating information to parents and the following requirements we then had to follow, I quickly found a lot of faults because our kids – even my 11 year olds – were watching it. It GLORIFIES bullying culture and that is exactly what we are working hard to combat in schools. The blame-game, as you say, and blaming others for one’s decisions and actions and excusing yourself from accountability was also a really big thing that bothered me in this portrayal to students. The fact that there was nothing positive or helpful for anyone in need voids everything the directors and actors talked about in that segment at the end of the show.
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11 year olds?! That’s scary! I didn’t even watch that segment because I couldn’t deal with how removed from reality they were, and the negative consequences of their actions, which they were just blind to! I heard a rumour season 2 is cancelled though? I hope that’s true! R xx
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[…] I also did a post about Finding Your Ratings Twin, 6 Ways to Make Reading Fun Again, and was proudly a Finalist in the Blog Awards Ireland! I shared my personal experience with depression and anxiety, as well as my views on the TV show, 13 Reasons Why, in my post 13 Problems With 13 Reasons Why. […]
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It’s actually really good to read the perspective of someone who has read the book and seen the show. I had MANY issues with the show, most of which were the same as yours. The biggest issue I had was that I felt like it glorified revenge suicide in many ways and actually made it look like a good way to get back at the people who have hurt you—and get a message across to them that you couldn’t get them to hear otherwise. I could definitely see this message doing more harm than good. So, overall, though, would you still recommend the book? I’ve been debating reading it.
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I really didn’t enjoy the show much at all. There were bits of it that were done well, but overall it left a really bad taste in my mouth, and the revenge suicide plot was just awful. No matter how many interviews I see where they try to justify it, it came across loud and clear that it was badly done. I haven’t actually read the book! Just know lots of people who have and know the differences in the plot points so I could refer to them in this post. The book takes place in 24 hours I believe, so the story isn’t dragged out, and Hannah is apparently less melodramatic and more likeable, and the suicide is an overdose. I get the gist from the TV show, so don’t think I’ll try the book myself (I had a problem with the 13 tapes thing anyways), but I have heard that it’s better. R xx
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I haven’t watched the show, but loved the book. As someone who has suffered from depression throughout my whole life, I found this book to be one I think everyone should read. For those who don’t understand how it is for people with depression, the book was done very well, not sensational like it sounds like the show was. I’m thinking I may never watch the show because of the things I’ve heard about it. Because to me, the purpose of the tapes were more to the main character who, spoiler alert, was a good person and made the girl feel better about herself for the most part. That’s what I liked. For people to see just how little or insignificant a comment or action can be and how much it can still affect someone. In fact, a self-help book that my school district had all the teachers read at the same time I read this, How Full is Your Bucket?, is another book I think everyone should read.
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Hi! Thanks for your comment. I really should read the book so I can see what the source material was like that they based the show on, because I think it was interpreted poorly based on your description of the book. I don’t think you’ll be missing out by not watching the show, but if you’re like me, you’ll want to see it out of curiosity, and so you can draw your own conclusions. If you do watch it, I’d love to know what you think! R xx
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[…] 13 Problems With 13 Reasons Why was an important post for me, and one I put a lot of care into writing. […]
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