When my blog was an infant at just 6 months old, I decided to analyse my blog-stats, and was amazed/confused/elated by the sometimes ridiculous, and often hilarious, search terms people had used that led them to my little corner of the Internet. The post published in August 2014 was titled Damn You “Unknown Search Terms“, and began as a gripe towards Internet privacy settings, which meant so many of the search terms people use to find me, are hidden from my nosy eyes.

When I published Damn You “Unknown Search Terms“, I had 662 unknown search terms in my stats. Today, I have 6,089 and it still really, really gets on my nerves! While I was putting the original post together, I discovered many of the search terms that I could see were quite funny, and created a post all about them, including my response. It’s been over a year since that post was written, so I thought it was time to check up on the crazy and best search terms my readers have used in 2015…

“fifty shades of grey red room of pain scene”

While this might seem slightly perverted and/or ominous to many of you, it actually makes sense if you’ve read the book, and if you know that the reason this is the #1 search term that leads to my blog, is because my super talented sister created 3D photo-real visuals imagining what the set would look like, before the first movie was released. I do wonder once the kinky searchers land on my book blog if they hang around for a little while, or not…

“what would you do if you weren’t afraid”

This definitely falls under the “best” as opposed to the “crazy” search terms of 2015, and I imagine it led to this post with my Top Ten Inspiring Quotes From Books. I LOVE the idea of removing the fear factor in order to do the things we’ve always dreamed of, and to achieve things we never thought possible.

“diane chamberlain pretending to dance”

This makes perfect sense when you know that Diane Chamberlain released a book called Pretending to Dance, but in this context, it makes my fave author sound like she’s trying to bust some moves. In my head, those moves are the Carlton dance…

“na romance novels about moving on and love again 2014”

I want to know where this person landed on my blog, because I need whatever book they were searching for too! Any recs Book Geeks?

“heroines ass press”

First of all, I want to know what an “ass press” is. Is this a gym move I should be doing?!

“how much do you spend on books”

Is it socially acceptable to ask this question in the Book Community?? Meh, I answered it anyway at the end of 2014 in my post suitably titled How Much Do You Spend On Books? Glad I’m not the only nosy one. Looking forward to answering this again at the end of 2015!

“professional book review on hopeless”

A “professional” book review? That’s a topic for a whole other blog post. I may not be a “professional” reviewer, but I did review Hopeless. Blogger reviews are better anyway 😀

“why is plain truth by jodi picoult banned in school”

Excellent question! I once wrote about Why I Believe in the Freedom to Read for Banned Books Week, and unless it is an issue of age-appropriate content, I don’t believe in censorship. At all. For those curious, the synopsis of Plain Truth is below:

The discovery of a dead infant in an Amish barn shakes Lancaster County to its core. The investigation leads to a more shocking disclosure: circumstantial evidence suggests 18 year old Katie Fisher, an unmarried Amish woman believed to be the newborn’s mother, took the child’s life. When Ellie Hathaway, a disillusioned big-city attorney, comes to Pennsylvania to defend Katie, two cultures collide – and for the first time in her high-profile career, Ellie faces a system of justice very different from her own. Delving deep inside the world of those who live “plain”, Ellie must find a way to reach Katie on her terms. As she unravels a tangled murder case, Ellie also looks deep within – to confront her own fears and desires when a man from her past re-enters her life.

“but i like it”

You’re welcome.

“lily james sirius remus”

AKA the best people, in the world, ever. If JK ever reads this blog, this squad deserve their own series already!

“what was t.j.’s secret in beautiful oblivion”

“I hate dolores umbridge”

“harry potter x reader” and “no sex in harry potter nitty gritty”

I can’t even. Why?! What does this even mean!? I don’t even want to know. Oh, the awful imagery.

“stacking books on the floor”

Welcome to my world. I still don’t have bookshelves!

“pooh piglet tigger rabbit eeyore owl gopher kanga roo”

Rock, paper, scissors, lizard, spock! Do I win?

“unknown interesting terms”

This is possibly my favourite oxymoron ever. Because, well, they’re unknown 😀

“wonderful posts”

And this led to little old me. Cheers, Google!

“making love to the money”

I personally prefer to spend mine. But hey, each to their own.

“quotes on tackling multiple relationships”

Uhhh, don’t? I don’t like to share 😀

“i will stalk you”

Please don’t. However, you may be interested in what to do When An Author Stalks You.

“franck memes from father of the bride”

I LOVE HIM! I tried, but the Internet failed me. Frank is under-appreciated in the meme/gif world. Instead, do yourself a favour and watch the video below, then watch the full movie!

“sarcastic comebacks with big words”

Ha! I LOVE that this led to my blog. I’m a big fan of sarcasm. Huge. Sarcasm does not require big words, it does however usually require spontaneity, so your search may be futile friend.

“books you are ashamed to be caught reading”

I’ve written about this before, so I feel your pain! As much as we love our YA, romances, novels about serial killers (pick your poison), it’s important to know what to do When You’re Ashamed of What You’re Reading.

“what is the point of preordering books”

My blog readers read my mind! I wrote What Is The Point of Pre-ordering Books when I had to wait almost a month after preordering Confess by Colleen Hoover from Amazon UK. It’s not the first time I’ve had to wait for a pre-order either, even after it’s already available in the shops teasing me from the shelves!

“what is with colleen hoover that everybody wants to meet her”

I laughed out loud at this one. Because her books are fabulous, that’s why. I would LOVE to meet her. For proof of her fabulousness, check out my reviews of Maybe Someday, Confess, Ugly Love, Hopeless, Losing Hope, Slammed, Point of Retreat, This Girl and Never Never Part 1. Also, check out her Facebook page, because she’s also hilarious.

“judging you gif”

Which is what I’m currently doing to the person who asked about Colleen Hoover.

Do you get frustrated at “unknown search terms”? What are some of your favourite terms people have searched for when they ended up on your blog? Get sharing with me in the comments below!